Thursday, March 16, 2006

Eyes front

Just back from a visit to the opthamologist to check my peripheral vision. I'm not sure what the point of this is as the opthamologist says it is to check the eyes after Grave's Disease and I had that corrected years ago and no-one has done this before. My suspicion is that because my big eye exam in September was so good he needs to make some money and has me running back to the office every five minutes. Or maybe he was just misleading me about the test results , maybe I have glaucoma and I am going blind. I am now going to panic for a while.
In September he said there was no problem with my eyes except for mild "dry eye". I hadn't been diagnosed with dry eyes before but what do I know? I thought it was some sort of diabetes related problem. So I got a free sample of drops and a re-visit a month later. Guess what? The drops had made no difference. Big surprise there.
Also he couldn't remember why I was back for a re-visit. Hmm.
Today the lovely assistant did a vision field test. She told me to stare ahead at the light and press the remote every time I saw a light. After ten seconds I couldn't see anything, my eye was weeping so much. This apparently was my fault. "Do you have a problem with tears?" "Why don't you blink more?"
I kid you not. Read my freakin' notes people. You diagnosed me with dry eye. Therefore my eye will make tears. Good grief. Plus if I blink I'd miss a light, no? And she told me to stare ahead. If I'm staring I'm not going to blink, that's how we show we have no fear. Anyway I tried to comply with the contradictory instructions on the other eye and I'm guessing I missed half the lights by blinking like I have a nervous tic.
Every time I go to that place I feel like I have committed some faux pas or other. Last time it was because I didn't know how old I was. I know my date of birth, and it's written on the top of my chart so why would I have to remember how old I was? Apparently they need it for the tests and they are incapable of doing the math. I suggested that they work it out for themselves as I didn't need to know my exact age, in fact it is detrimental to my well-being to be reminded of it. I don't think a sense of humour is requisite for a job in the medical profession here. Shame.

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